Dreams of You and I
by Literate Potato
Summary: Hermione has been in love with Charlie Weasley for over a year. When Ron dies in the Battle of Hogwarts, she is afraid she will never see his brother again.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione was sick of pity. Ever since Ron died in the Battle of Hogwarts she found that every gaze she met was saturated with saccharine sympathy that she neither needed nor wanted. Even Harry was absolutely insufferable with the way he treated her like glass. Pretty much every single person she knew seemed to be under the erroneous impression that she and Ron had shared some great passionate romance and that she would hardly be able to survive without him. They were dead fucking wrong.

She had never missed anyone, which was what allowed her to obliviate her parents, and Ron was no exception. When he died, she was sorry he was gone, and she was saddened by his family's grief, but she didn't miss him. Even though it had only been a week, having everyone smothering her with attention made her feel much worse about the fact that she couldn't miss her dead friend and it made her want to scream. Well, the unwanted attention coupled with the lack of attention from one particular person, that is.

Ever since Thursday, September 12th, 1996, she had been in love with one Charlie Weasley, and her feelings irritated her immensely. He was eight years older than her, brilliant, brave, and beautiful with a rapier-sharp wit. Of course, the only reason he ever spoke to her was Ron, and of course she was far too young, plain, and swotty for him, which is why every day she wanted to carve her brain out of her skull to stop the never ending barrage of thoughts about him. This tepid May evening was particularly bad, and she could not for the life of her fall asleep.

It was Friday, May 8th, and the memorial would be tomorrow. She could not fall asleep and instead tossed and turned restlessly until the wee hours of the morning. What kept her awake were her racing, circular thoughts that bounced back and forth from Charlie to her guilt about not missing Ron to the Weasleys and Harry. Never had she hated her brain as much as she did now.

It wasn't until she opened her eyes to sunlight streaming in through the windows that she realized she might have been asleep. Or maybe not. She wasn't sure.

'Morning 'Mione,' Ginny's groggy voice greeted her.

'Good morning Gin, how did you sleep?' The redhead made a face at her.

'Better than you, but not much. Your rolling around like an excited puppy made it difficult.' Now it was Hermione's turn to make a face.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up,' the brunette apologized. Ginny waved her off.

'It's fine, it's not like I would've been able to sleep anyway.' That's when she gave her friend that dreaded look. 'How are you keeping up, by the way?' Hermione greatly resented the tone of her voice, and then mentally smacked herself for being upset at her friend who only meant well, and then she started to feel guilty again.

'I'm perfectly alright, although absolutely famished right now. May we please get some breakfast?' She was thankful when Ginny nodded and got up. The girls were greeted by the delicious scent of pancakes and bacon as they opened Ginny's bedroom door and stepped into the hallway. With matching smiles, they swiftly descended the staircase and strode over to the table, which was piled high with plates, platters, and bowls of food. Harry and some of the other Weasleys were already eating, and Hermione noted, to her disappointment, that Charlie was not among them.

'Good morning Hermione dear,' Molly pulled her into a warm hug, 'How are you doing?' Hermione had to stop herself from groaning in frustration as that damned look settled on her face.

'I'm well, it's been lovely sharing a room with Gin, and your family's hospitality is heartwarming,' she replied sincerely. Even if she hated the looks they were all giving her, she was extremely grateful for their generosity and kindness. Molly beamed at her words, eyes still soaked in pity.

'I'm very glad to hear it. Please enjoy your breakfast and be sure to tell me if you ever need anything at all.'

'Thank you very much,' Hermione shot her a grin before sitting down and quietly exhaling a sigh of relief.

She ate quickly, loathing the glances and careful words and sickening tones that were much more odious and intolerable than usual. The moment she finished, she brought her dishes into the kitchen and raced outside, running until she reached the water's edge. As much as she wanted to go swimming, she stopped herself, knowing that the water would still be absolutely freezing. Instead, she lied on her back, dipping her hand in the icy pond, and watched the clouds float by. She spent hours like that, lying there and thinking, until Harry arrived to tell her it was time to get ready.

With a resigned sigh, she pulled herself to her feet and trudged back inside, up the stairs, and into her friend's room. She put on a modest black dress, hating the color and the itchy fabric, and stockings which she hated even more. Much to Ginny's chagrin, she adamantly refused to put on makeup since eyeliner and mascara felt heavy and itchy and she was already horribly uncomfortable. As soon as everyone was ready, they went outside, and the service began. Ron had been cremated, so Arthur carried his ashes in a simple urn, which must have been difficult with his wife hanging onto his arm with a death grip. Hermione chuckled humorlessly at her ironic choice of words.

The service was simple, anyone who wanted to got up and talked about Ron, one after another without any real structure or organization. She felt awful for all of them, their pain clear and raw in their voices and their words, but she didn't cry at all, except when Charlie spoke. She wasn't quite sure what it was about his speech that made her cry, whether it was the way he managed to maintain his composure the whole time, or the tasteful integration of humor, or simply her own feelings for him. Then, it was her turn. Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the spot in front of the group, and spoke.

'Ron was one of my two best friends, ever since he and Harry saved me from that mountain troll in first year. He was smart, in his own way, and could be absolutely hilarious, but more importantly, he was a caring and loyal person. No matter what we all went through, I knew that he would be there when it mattered most, and that he was trustworthy. It is truly awful for his life to have been cut short the way it was, especially since he was so full of life. However, I wholeheartedly believe he would agree with Dr. Seuss' words of "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." For his sake, we should all do our best to keep going and continue to smile and laugh and live, because he would want us to.' She flashed an encouraging smile before walking back to her spot in the crowd.

Hermione was the last person to speak, and while everyone gathered inside for food, drinks, and conversation, she changed out of her dress and returned to her spot by the water as quickly and silently as possible. As soon as she plopped herself onto the grass, her mind was racing. Charlie was leaving for Romania tomorrow, and she wondered if he would ever speak to her again. Ron was the only reason he had ever spoken to her, and now that he was dead, she doubted he would feel compelled to converse with her. She supposed that if and when Ginny married Harry, she could see him at the wedding. Obviously, Molly would continue to invite her to come to the Burrow, but she couldn't stand that blasted expression that graced the faces of most everyone there, and it would be awkward without Ron, especially with Ginny and Harry together.

She didn't belong here anymore, and it didn't make sense for her to try to stay. So, where could she go, then? Her parents were obliviated, Harry had Ginny, and the Burrow was out of the question. Obviously, she would need a job, but even then, she would need a flat or something. What she wanted most was to work in the ministry in the muggle department and work on introducing muggle technology to the magical world. There was no doubt that she could get work in the ministry, after her involvement in the war, but housing would still be an issue. She decided that she would ask Harry if she could live at Grimmauld, but she would only consider living there if he wasn't planning on moving there with Ginny.

When it started to get dark out, she finally went inside, aware that it must be around 8:00, meaning that she had been lying there for eight hours. Sneaking in through the back door, she went straight to the kitchen to get something to eat, since she was famished. She was surprised to see Charlie rifling through the pantry as she entered the room. Hearing her footsteps, he looked up and smiled at her. She hated the way her heart sped up and her stomach knotted as she smiled back at him.

'Hello, Hermione,' she melted at the sound of his rich baritone voice. It was her favorite sound in the world, even more so when he said her name.

'Hi, Charlie,' she greeted him demurely, 'how are you?'

'Well, I guess, all things considered,' he grimaced slightly, 'How about you?'

She started to speak before cutting herself off, frowning, and then opening her mouth again to answer.

'I'm incredibly frustrated, actually.' If he was surprised by her frank reply, he didn't show it.

'How so?' She sighed.

'Every single person in this damn house except for you keeps looking at me with the most infuriating pity, because apparently they all think Ron and I had some great love affair and that I'm absolutely devastated and more fragile than sodding glass. Without Ron, I don't belong here anymore, especially with Harry and Ginny, but since I obliviated my parents' his eyebrows skyrocketed at that bit, 'I don't have anywhere else to go. For right now, I'm planning on asking Harry about living at Grimmauld for a while until I can afford a flat.'

'Well, I know what you mean about my family and the whole pity thing, I've seen it a lot, actually. As far as housing goes, good luck, and I firmly believe that you can do anything, and that you will find somewhere to live.' He smiled reassuringly before biting into an apple and walking out of the kitchen, waving to her. She sighed and ate her cranberry muffin with a glass of water. Snagging an apple, she hurried upstairs to Ginny's room, grabbed her pajamas and a towel, and went to the bathroom, tossing her apple core in the bin before shutting the door.

She took an hour long shower, taking full advantage of the magical water heating system and not caring that there was anyone else in the house. Afterwards, she took her time drying off, getting dressed, and brushing her teeth before returning to the bedroom. Luckily, everyone else was still downstairs, so she didn't have to talk to anyone before falling into bed and drifting into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

When she woke up the next morning, the sun was already up past her window. After unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep, she dragged herself out of bed with a quiet groan. Ginny was downstairs, so she had the room to herself and didn't have to go to the bathroom to get dressed. Having donned a simple green t-shirt and denim shorts, she went downstairs to find breakfast. Looking at a clock, she saw that it was 10:30, meaning that the others had already eaten.

As she walked past the sitting room, she saw that all the Weasleys were gathered there with Harry and Teddy. She noticed that Charlie was not with them, meaning that he had already left. Trying to ignore the way her heart sank, she tiptoed to the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast. As soon as she was finished, she retreated to her spot by the water.

She couldn't stop thinking about him. Her brain was a spin cycle of Charlie, Romania, dragons, red hair, blue eyes, that baritone voice, and just him. His name filled her mind, and she found herself repeating it over and over and over again like a mantra, whispering it and writing it in the dirt, and then she was crying because _Charlie_. Because he was gone and would never speak to her again and even if he did he would never feel even remotely the same as her and there was no bloody _hope_. It was then that she was hit with the startling realisation that she missed him. At that revelation, she started laughing because of the sick irony and crying because _of course_ she can't miss her dead friend and while his whole family is mourning him she's too busy missing his sodding brother.

Harry found her there a while later, lying in a heap on the shore. When she turned to face him, she saw that damn pity in his eyes.

'Are you okay 'Mione?' She sighed.

'No, I am not okay, and I need to get out of here but I have nowhere I can go.' His brow furrowed.

'I'm sorry, it must be hard for you. If you'd like, you can stay at Grimmauld, since I'm going to stay here for a while.'

'Really? That'd be perfect,' she enthused. 'Thank you, and I'm sorry if I've been acting weird lately.'

'Nah, you're fine.' He smiled as she hugged him tightly. 'You can move in whenever you want.'

'Wonderful!' She dropped her arms as she stepped back, looking at him with excitement. 'So I can leave today?' She cheered when he nodded.

'This is perfect! Have I ever told you that you're the best friend ever and one of my favorite people?'

'Just one of your favorite people?' he jested. 'And no, you haven't, and you should definitely do so more often.'

'I just might do that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack.'

She grinned at her friend before racing back to the house. Immediately after entering her room, she began packing her things into her little beaded bag. After checking the bathroom once more to make sure she got everything, she trotted downstairs to say goodbye. Apparently, Harry had told everyone the plan, because they were all waiting for her. Molly was the first to rush forward, enveloping her in a tight embrace. Soon, everyone else followed suit and Hermione found herself in the center of a very large group hug.

After everyone said their goodbyes and Molly gave her a basket of food and made her promise to visit and write, she flooed in to 12 Grimmauld Place. She disliked the cold, lonely feeling of the house, but it matched her emotions, so she found it much more appealing than the Burrow with all the pity-drenched looks. Selecting a random room, she dropped her bag on the bed and pulled out a notebook and ballpoint pen. She walked to the library, plopped down on a couch, and wrote for hours, about Charlie and Ron and the Burrow and everything. She wrote sonnets and prose and dumped all her swirling thoughts and feelings onto paper, and then she wrote his name over and over again, just like she had in the dirt by the pond. It felt good, and it gave her a small reprieve from her misery.

Noticing that she was hungry, Hermione decided to eat something and then go buy some groceries, since there was no food in the house other than what Molly had sent. Shopping distracted her, albeit temporarily, and so did cooking. She ate her lunch at 2:38 before taking a nice hot bath and writing a letter to the ministry requesting employment. Having no owl of her own, she had to floo back to the Burrow and have the Weasleys send it for her. Obviously, they had insisted she stay for dinner, and she did not leave until later than anticipated. After reading for a bit, she retired to her room and went to sleep.

The Ministry replied quicker than Hermione had expected, and their response was waiting for her the next morning. Skimming it, Hermione was ecstatic to see that they were thrilled to have her in the Ministry in 'any position that suits your fancy.' The letter said that she could start whenever she'd like and that she would just need to pop by and talk to Kingsley Shacklebolt beforehand. Excited, she swiftly dressed and apparated to the Ministry. She strode purposefully to his office, and after telling his secretary who she was and why she was there, entered Shacklebolt's office.

'Hermione, I am very glad to see you so soon after receiving your letter.' He smiled warmly at her, and she found herself returning the gesture.

'I'm just happy to be here, especially with the given circumstances.'

'As am I. So, you wish to work in the Muggle Department?'

'Yes sir, I want to research muggle technology and find a way to integrate it into magical society.' He raised his eyebrows.

'Very interesting. Your intelligence and insight will be most welcome and helpful.'

'Thank you, sir.' She grinned.

'I will have Yvette show you to your office. It has been a pleasure, Ms. Granger.' He shook her hand before opening his office door and ushering her out. Hermione watched as he quickly said something to his secretary to which she nodded. As he retreated back into his office, the secretary, whom she assumed was Yvette, approached her with a gentle smile gracing her features.

'Please follow me.'

It took a few minutes to reach their destination, but Hermione recognized most of what they passed on the way. She was a bit surprised that she really would have her own office, but she was extremely grateful. When it came to research, she could be quite messy. Slouching in her very comfortable desk chair, Hermione decided that she would like this job a lot. 

A couple months later, Hermione was elbow deep in research about anatomy, physiology, and psychology. She thought it was inexcusable for none of the wizarding schools to have proper mental and physical health curricula simply because they didn't quite fit with divination and whatnot. Currently, she was performing extensive research and constructing courses that would be required in all wizarding schools. At the moment, she was enthralled by a volume about Asperger's Syndrome. The more she read about it, the more she began to believe that she herself had it, since it would explain her brilliance in all subjects and lack of social awareness. She read that Asperger's and Autism often went undiagnosed in females because they were less likely to act out in obvious ways.

When she found a part explaining that it's common for people with the disorder to become strongly attached to one person, she felt like everything finally made sense. Now she also had an explanation for why she missed Charlie but no one else. She closed the book, sighed, and rubbed her temples, wondering if this meant she had some weird kind of obsession with the ginger. Deciding to procrastinate the inevitable existential crisis, Hermione picked up a book about Schizophrenia and buried herself in it, trying as hard as she could to tune out her screaming thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry and Ginny announced their engagement on October 4th. Of course, Hermione was more than happy to help with anything and everything she could. The wedding was scheduled for Christmas day, so Ginny was extremely grateful for Hermione's exuberance and helpfulness. The entire Weasley clan, Harry, Hermione, and little Teddy Lupin piled into the Burrow on Christmas was later in the evening when everyone gathered around the tree and exchanged gifts, deciding it would be good to do it before the wedding day. So far, Hermione had received her token sweater from Molly, a tonne of books, good stationary, and colorful ink.

However, nothing prepared her for when Charlie Weasley approached her with a small, prettily wrapped parcel in his hands. She was barely able to stop herself from gawping like a ninny and almost failed to take the box from him with a soft thanks and tentative smile. She took her time unwrapping it, making sure not to rip the paper and relishing in the feel of the peeling tape. Under the paper was a beautiful wooden box, and inside was a gorgeous seal with a chestnut handle and an ornate H carved in the metal end. Red and gold sealing wax were tucked in beside it and all she could do was gape in wonder and amazement.

'Good job, Charlie, for once in her life, she's actually speechless,' George's jest roused her from her reverie, and she chuckled.

'Thank you so much, it's absolutely perfect.' She beamed at Charlie with genuine gratitude. He returned her smile.

'I'm glad you like it.' His words spurred her to get up, retrieve a parcel of her own, and hand it to him, blushing.

'I got something for you as well.'

He looked at her with surprise, but gracefully accepted her gift with a smile nonetheless. She was relieved to see that he appeared to be grateful for her gift. It was impossible to stop the grin that spread across her entire face when she saw the expression of pure joy and wonder that flooded his features as he perused his gift. She had immediately thought of him when three weeks ago she saw the pewter dragon necklace with a glistening ruby eye. He ran it back and forth through his hands a couple times before fastening the chain around his neck.

'Thank you Hermione, I love it.' His words made her heart flutter and her stomach churn, but she twisted her face into a smile and murmured a response in spite of her body's riotous reactions. For the rest of the night, she replayed those words over and over in her head, and his joyful expression was the last image she saw in her mind's eye before she drifted into sleep.

Christmas day was hectic, to say the least. Everyone was rushing to make last minute preparations and at least half the Weasleys were setting up the tent in the backyard like they had for Bill and Fleur. Hermione divided her time between attending to the bride, getting dressed, arranging and placing flowers and decorations, and placing name cards to avoid civil war amongst the guests as much as possible. Currently, she was stringing lights with the twins, which was interesting to say the least.

'So, 'Mione, care to tell us how long you've fancied our dear brother?' She all but choked on her own tongue at Fred's question.

'Pardon?'

'Charlie, of course,' George clarified.

'It's quite obvious you've fancied him for a while,' Fred added unhelpfully.

'And we think he rather fancies you too,' George finished with a grin. Hermione chortled and attempted to hide it with a cough.

'Um, no,' was her eloquent response.

'No what?'

'There's no way in hell he would ever fancy me.' Fred raised his eyebrows.

'So you don't deny that you fancy him.' She flushed and opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by George.

'Do you know what this means, Freddie?'

'That I do, dear Georgie.' Their matching grins unnerved her.

'We need to help our dear friend Hermione.'

'As well as our brother dearest.' That prompted her to action.

'No, you can't, he doesn't like me, and it would just be an awkward, embarrassing mess, please.' Her pleas fell on deaf ears, however, and the twins strode away as she spoke. She sighed, picking up her strand of lights and continuing to hang them.

She was eternally grateful to Ginny for choosing flattering bridesmaid dresses. Hermione looked gorgeous in her tea length, strapless, sapphire blue dress with an a-line skirt and a sweetheart neckline. The fabric was a satiny blend that looked like water flowing around her silky legs. After much pestering, Ginny had convinced her to wear a bit of modest makeup that made her eyes look big and dark. However, all that confidence vanished as soon as she laid eyes on Charlie. He looked radiant in an entirely black suit with a deep cobalt tie that brought out the color in his eyes, making them look like ice.

The ceremony was short and sweet, and the majority of the night was designated for the reception. After making her rounds, Hermione settled into a seat that was nicely tucked away in a corner. She was enjoying just watching all the people moving around her. Her eyes soon found Charlie, and she saw that he was conversing with the twins, which caused her to blush when she remembered her earlier discussion with the duo. Her eyes widened when his gaze met hers and she quickly looked away. When she looked back over to him half a minute later, she was shocked to see him making his way over to her. Quickly averting her gaze, she adjusted her hair and clothes as swiftly and subtly as she could.

'Hello Hermione,' he greeted her with a charming smile, 'how are you this evening?'

'Just fine, and you?' She finds it hard to formulate words with her blood pounding in her ears and him standing right in front of her.

'Perfectly well, thanks. Care to tell me why you're hiding in a corner?' His eyes twinkled with humor and she blushed.

'I suppose I just don't feel like mingling tonight.'

'Pourquois?' His casual use of French was unexpected but definitely appreciated.

'Because while I am wholly and completely ecstatic for my friends, being surrounded by so many couples quickly becomes nauseating, between the pda, heated looks, and terms of endearment. It all just serves to remind me that I'm alone.' He furrowed his brow.

'What do you mean? Throughout tonight and for a while now, hordes of young men have tried and failed to capture your attention, so if being alone bothers you so much, why aren't you dating one of them?' That piece of information surprised her.

'I honestly never noticed any such attention.' His eyebrows rose dramatically in surprise. 'For over two years now, I've been in love with someone, so it must be that I was simply too distracted by him to notice or care.' She sighed.

'Who?' Her breath hitched.

'It doesn't matter,' she muttered, averting her gaze. She was shocked, to say the least, when he cupped her cheek and moved her face so she was looking at him again.

'It does matter, Hermione. Two of your best friends just got married but you're hiding in a corner because of some idiot who almost certainly does not deserve you. Who is it?' His words stunned her, and all she could do was shake her head until she could speak again.

'I can't.' Confusion flashed across his features before being quickly replaced by comprehension. When he pressed his lips to hers, she felt as though her entire body was engulfed in flames. The kiss was short and sweet, yet hotter than Hell, and it left them both breathless.

'You.' Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it lit a fire in his eyes and spurred him to grab her hand and drag her out of the tent and up to his room where he proceeded to show her just how wrong she was to assume he wouldn't fancy her.


End file.
